this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
