go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
