So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
