You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
