at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
