I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
