i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
