3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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