never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
