Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
