No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
