ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
