bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
