Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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