just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We have so much sex to catch up on
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
