Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
