4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
