I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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