bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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