I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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