ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
