All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
