brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
