I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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