Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
