see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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