i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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