I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
