And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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