she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
