Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
