apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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