Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
