Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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