i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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