Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You took a bar mat shot.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
