upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
