It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
