I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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