belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
