fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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