people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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