Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
