Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
