He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
