highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
