yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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