i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
