How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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