Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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